While presumably Twittering during his vasectomy, John Mayer was fortunate enough to officially become that guy at the bar who tries to pick up 40 different girls with the line "Let me can your fart in pickle juice" because out of 1600, one girl HAS to go for it:
"Dear Diary, Day number 382... No luck. Had a muffin though. It was a Wonderland of cranberry and bran. It was a Wonderbran. BRB, Twitter will love that. -John"
-Lampoon
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